Commitment is one of the most essential ingredients of a healthy relationship. In words, commitment sounds easy but in a relationship, it’s one of the hardest things to do. Commitment can be of two meanings: it can mean dedication, or it can mean an obligation. Whichever meaning you look at, both are needed for a long-lasting relationship. For most people, the meaning of commitment may be unclear. We might know the meaning of love but commitment and love are different. Despite that, they are two branches of the same tree.
Commitment involves making decisions you otherwise would not make, it also involves dedication to certain things that you could not have ever imagined. On the other hand, love is more emotion based and may just be the feelings you experience when you are with a loved one like the butterflies when you hold hands. But those ‘butterflies’ won’t guide you through when your relationship hits a rough patch, it will be commitment instead. So, love alone will not keep your relationship alive, the commitment will. For example, when you have an argument with your loved one, your emotions might get the better of you and you might not end up apologizing for your doings.
Commitment ensures that you do even if you feel like you were never in the wrong.
Why? Because commitment is not solely based on the emotions we feel, it’s a combination of logic, communication AND emotions. But how do we commit to something? Especially in a relationship? Again, it’s one of the hardest things especially if we aren’t used to it. Growing up, we may be used to committing to small things like staying home for a family party than going out with friends. But as we grow older, we learn to commit to more important things like our education, jobs, etc.
Even when we learn so, it’s not similar to what we would have to do in a relationship hence making such commitment harder for some of us. But commitment is easy once we understand each other more, and learn the importance of communication. Whether it is a new lover or a 10-year-old marriage, understanding each other’s mentality will develop commitment in the long-term, and when things don’t work out in your relationship. For example, you plan something for your lover, but your lover may have overtime at work, what do you do? You may be upset or you may be angry. Your emotions would tell you to argue with your lover, but commitment will understand that things cannot always be the way you want them to be. That’s just how relationships are.
When you have learned how commitment works, your relationship will thrive; you will see you are arguing less and appreciating more. Isn’t that what is important? To love and appreciate your lover and not argue or be sad over things? The commitment may take years to build, but it depends from person to person. If you wish for a long-term relationship, you will learn faster and better.